Microsoft AI Starts Coding Its Own Power BI Features

UPDATE: April 2, 2021 – this post was published as satire on April Fool’s Day and is not factual

UPDATE: 2023 after GPT-4 – uh… check back soon?

The Power BI team announced on its blog today that many AI features are now being built by Microsoft AI itself. This capability was not expected for a number of years. Existing visuals such as Smart Narrative, Decomposition Tree, Q&A, and more will all benefit from eventual self-development.

New AI-created features have started arriving quickly, all of which will be built into existing Power BI licensing with no additional cost passed to users. “This allows our exciting new AI-built features such as Quick Insights Gen2, AI Insights Gen2, Datafuhllows Lakehouse, Cat GIF Generator, Paginated Bear or Bagel?, Iris Q&A, Titanic Influencers, and more to be available to users with only a Pro license.”

Asking for anonymity since it also describes future development, a stuffed bear spokesperson stated:

“By 2025, all Microsoft Power BI development should become self-sustaining. We want it to get to the point where if anyone on the engineering team thinks of it, they’ll have it available in the next day’s build.”

“The AI was able to train intelligently on any creator’s Publish to Web reports as well as a wide variety of competitive products across the entire Business Intelligence landscape. Features from a diverse set of alternate products such as Microsoft Excel, PerformancePoint, Proclarity, Microsoft Access, and Minecraft were all considered for inputs.”

When asked to comment, Gartner admitted that Microsoft’s advances have required it to rethink its Magic Quadrant completely. Adding a new axis called “Ability to Artificially and Intelligently Augment Itself”, Gartner plans to move from a Magic Quadrant to a Magic Cube starting in 2022.